Helen Lily Webster

( Author Anger Management Therapist Executive Director of Family and community Support services in Banff Alberta Canada Board Member of Mineral Springs Hospital Board in Banff Alberta Canada Federal Elected Board Member of Banff Mineral Springs Hospital in Banff Alberta Canada)

 

I began my work in the field of family violence in 1982 in Banff, Alberta, Canada under the leadership of Dr. Arleigh Porte, one of the first pioneers in the development of the first anger management programs for abusive men. I worked as a therapist in Anger Management Group Therapy for thirteen years with both women and men who had difficulty in controlling their anger and aggression and who took it out on their partners, children and society as a whole. 

During this time I learned up to 80 or more people can become involved when there is one episode of family violence. This statistic was arrived at from the thesis done by Monica Springer who was working on her Thesis at the University of Calgary on the impact of family violence on society as a whole.

While working with violent individuals the main thing I learned was not to lose your cool no matter what was said during the group sessions for I quickly learned that at the very beginning of every group the men hated me-one simply because I was a woman and two, because they had to listen to me and I was a woman. By the end of the first session this had all changed and for most of them they had come to the realization that what I had to say just might be important to them and their lives. I had engaged them in the anger management process. In these groups we also had women who had anger management problems and they had no problem fitting in with the men. I also worked in group therapy with abused women but I was not as tough or strict with them as I was with the men. They had enough strictness and “rules” laid down before them to last a lifetime. Their groups consisted more of life skills coupled with an understanding of anger and violence and the role they played in it. Some were so broken it would take ongoing counseling to help her get back on her feet. Some along with their husbands wanted the relationship to continue and they needed serious marriage counselling and even that sometimes didn’t keep the relationship together. Too much damage had been done

The above scenarios are just some of the skills I shared with my groups and I had a high rate of success with only one or two drop outs in a 14 week program. I conducted these groups for thirteen years as a volunteer while training social workers by having them come into my groups and work with me. I usually took one to two at a time, but I have had up to three. They then went on to offer their own Anger Management programs. In my groups I had a male and female therapist in order to show the men how men and women can interact with each other in a kind, respectful manner. We would each take part in offering parts of each session.